Anyone remember the jingle that went along with Folger's coffee? You know...it went a little somethin' like this..."The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup". REALLY? How fucking sad is that! The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup!
Apparently whomever wrote that has never given much thought to how ridiculous it sounds. I mean, imagine this...you have just gotten through a night of restful sleep, uninterrupted sleep, sleep filled with some of the best dreams you could ever imagine. You roll over in the sack and open your eyes to the world around you...and BAM! It becomes crystal clear obvious to you, at that exact moment, that the best part about waking up is that you can now pour some cheap ass coffee into your choice of the many gifted coffee mugs received from the various obligated gift givers over the course of time! So you jump to your feet, forgoing the brushing of teeth and the cleansing of your person by way of a warm shower, run swiftly to the kitchen, fire up the coffee pot, and pour youself that first cup of amber liquid because, after all, nothing else can compare. Nothing can even come close to the experience of having that cup of coffee. So, then what? Well apparently the rest of the fucking day is completely shot. Unless you plan to drink coffee all day in your jammies, you are clearly about to have a shit day!
Then there is that little jingle from the Oscar Mayer clan. You know kids...now sing along with me..."My bologna has a first name..." You know the tune. The one where the poor kid who sings the song divulges that he just LOVES to eat it everyday! Seriously dude...you love to eat bologna EVERYday. Do you ever just want to go wild and crazy and have a turkey sandwich? Is the best part of waking up for you, that delicious cold cut waiting in the fridge? Don't you sometimes just want to have some Cambell's Soup? After all it is "M'm M'm Good".
Apparently, I am really missing out on the joys of coffe and bologna. I love having that cup of Joe each day, and an occasional bologna sandwich is tasty, but to say these things complete me, bring me joy, make life what it is would be ludicrous. You really want to get me excited, get me a bag of Tootsie Pops. I can make a day outta counting how many licks it takes to get to the center. Now THAT my friends is a good time!
Hmm... Interesting flow and theme... Reminds me of someone.
ReplyDeleteOne has to ask oneself, was it inspired by the writing of someone else, or was it created to spur inspiration in someone who hasn't written in quite some time?
ReplyDeleteTouche'
ReplyDelete